My Journey as an Indie Developer - A Brutally Honest Account

This is a personal diary entry filled with negativity. Read at your own risk.

The Turning Point

It all started at the end of 2017, probably the lowest point of my life. I was constantly frustrated because my technical skills, which I always took pride in, were being ignored. I knew that this society doesn’t value experts, but I never imagined that the companies I once admired from afar would be filled with so much office politics. My mental state was hanging by a thread, and I’m grateful for the amazing people who helped me through it. Otherwise, this account would probably be inactive.

After several years of an unsatisfying career, I realized I had two options:

1. Conform and live an ordinary life like everyone else.
2. Keep switching jobs, hoping to find the perfect workplace.
3. Try to make a living without relying on a boss.

Option 1 was out of the question. I tried it for six months at my previous company and ended up needing therapy. So, I was left with options 2 and 3. In the end, I chose 3. It wasn’t driven by ambition or anything like that. I was just completely disillusioned and fed up with the corporate world, so I went for this almost dreamlike option.

The Beginning

I started with a burst of energy, probably because I had been holding back for so long. At my previous job, I never had the chance to bring my ideas to life. I was like a starving beast, my coding soul burning with a desire to create. “It’s not the alarm clock that wakes you up, but your dreams” – that’s exactly how I felt. My days were disciplined and filled with drive: I’d wake up, grab breakfast and my usual tea with less sugar and ice, then start coding. After five or six hours, I’d take a dinner break and continue coding. If I got tired, I’d have a late-night snack, write my to-do list for the next day, and go to bed. It was the life I always dreamed of, right? (Except for the whole “no money” part.)

Code, Code Everywhere

But things slowly started to change, and not in a good way. As a newbie indie developer, my only thought was, “How do I build amazing software?” I completely ignored business concepts like target audience, market research, competitor analysis, minimum viable product, and early launch. A couple of months in, I realized I had dug myself into a hole: I had written way too much code. My mind was overflowing with ideas, and I wanted (and unfortunately, was able to) implement all of them. The project became bloated, the features overwhelming, and the codebase massive. My perfectionism backfired, leading me down rabbit holes, obsessing over insignificant edge cases (like, “What if the user has a million folders?” or “How do I handle a million photos taken at the same location?”). It wasn’t as fun as it used to be.

The Slump

Exhausted with an ever-growing to-do list, I decided to give myself a break and start taking weekends off (yes, I was working almost every day before). It seemed like a good idea, but I overestimated my willpower. Once I got a taste of laziness, there was no going back. My weekends got longer, from just Saturday and Sunday to Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and eventually to Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. My daily output plummeted, sometimes barely reaching a few lines of code. It was a terrible feeling – being unproductive while knowing I had unfinished work, yet lacking the motivation to do anything about it. The road ahead seemed endless, and I had no idea where it led. Would anyone even use what I was building? Would it make money? Were my efforts going to pay off? I was trapped in a vicious cycle of procrastination and uncertainty.

Recharging

Okay, this picture was actually taken on the way back.

Thankfully, things took a turn for the better. I went on a trip to Japan at the end of the year, a vacation I had planned before quitting my job. This time, I decided to take it easy and go with the flow. I even added some unusual activities to my itinerary: visiting obscure locations from the anime “Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions,” coding in temples across Kyoto as a form of digital check-in, trying to chat up Korean girls at a “A Certain Scientific Railgun” themed cafe, and even experiencing life under a bridge (conclusion: parks are way more comfortable). It was a journey of complete self-indulgence.

The trip recharged me both physically and mentally. I felt refreshed and ready to code again. But this time, I started reading articles and forums about indie development, trying to understand how others were navigating this path. Armed with their experiences, I set some goals for myself, hoping to release the first version of my product during the New Year’s holiday.

The Wrong Turn

The first release went surprisingly well. I shared my product on PTT (a popular Taiwanese forum) and received positive feedback. Encouraged, I decided to take the next step: finding a job. My thinking was this: I needed a stable income, but some parts of my product couldn’t be completed in my spare time. So, I would find a job and focus on the essential features while working on the nice-to-have features on the side. Looking back, the plan itself wasn’t bad, but I made one crucial mistake: I overestimated my mental capacity again, thinking I could handle both job hunting and coding.

The job hunting process was a complete disaster. It’s absurd and depressing to see less qualified people sitting across from you, pretending to know their stuff, while unqualified individuals hold your career in their hands. “This society doesn’t respect expertise,” I concluded after a month of this soul-crushing experience, leaving me utterly demoralized. My engineering projects stalled. OMFG.

Lessons Learned

Just as I was about to give up, I stumbled upon a company that seemed a bit out there but turned out to be pretty great. They recognized my skills and treated me with respect and flexibility. Finally, I felt motivated to work on my projects again.

This rollercoaster ride taught me some valuable lessons:

• Time management is crucial. This was my biggest downfall. I started strong but lost steam, costing me half my development time.
• Scope it down, focus on one thing. Don’t get sidetracked by features just because they seem easy or cool. It muddies the product’s core and wastes time. Case in point: I spent two weeks building a feature nobody uses. What a tragedy.
• Take breaks. Get away from the daily grind and recharge. It does wonders for your sanity, sparks creativity, and broadens your horizons. You can’t create products that impact people’s lives if you don’t have a fulfilling life yourself.
• Prioritize physical and mental health. Code can wait, money can be earned later, but health is irreplaceable.

The Road Ahead

I’ve been reading a lot and gradually finding a balance between work, personal projects, and leisure. Am I an indie developer now? I don’t know, hence the “towards” in the title. The road ahead is long and uncertain, but I’m determined to keep going, one step at a time, as long as I have my health. I have more to share about indie development, but I’ll save that for when my product is further along. Thanks for reading my ramblings; I hope my little journey resonates with you.

On a lighter note, I listed “Indie developer” on my resume. One day, I got a call from a self-proclaimed “international headhunter” who asked, “So, you’re working at Indie now?”