Or, a sugar-coated pill of control
Let’s carefully examine the structure of feedback:
At the surface level, there’s information - the other person’s perspective on things (usually about you). Then, since they “want the best for you,” it carries their values about “good and bad,” along with their “judgment” of you. Finally, there’s the matter of intention. Are these “judgments” and “values” coming from the “person” or from their “position”?
This reminds me of the concept of “self-objectification.”
Since “Feedback is a GIFT,” it would be too cruel not to accept it - the gift-giver would be “disappointed and sad.” So, with profound gratitude, you end up accepting their values, judgments, and intentions. Organizations reward you for doing this repeatedly, and gradually, you internalize others’ observations, their judgments and values, actively dissolving your own autonomy, ultimately becoming dependent on others’ evaluations to judge your self-worth. This is exactly what organizations want - dependent and obedient workers. Classic emotional manipulation.
Feedback is only useful when both parties are on equal footing, and it must be explicitly emphasized that this is “my” opinion, giving the other person the right to refuse. In such situations, I usually use a simpler approach:
IMO